
Life ke agle episode ka ek chhota sa teaser.
HNG

Se
Janiye
Today
The Fake Guru. Dopehar tak Moon enters Gemini (9th House). Mood Swing Alert! Achanak tumhara depression gayab aur tum 'Spiritual' ban gaye. Ab tum logon ko gyaan doge. "Life is a journey, bro." Tumhari hypocrisy dekh ke log ulti (vomit) kar denge. Tum reality se bhaag rahe ho aur ise 'Wanderlust' bol rahe ho.
Long Distance (Mental). Partner tumhare bagal mein baitha hai, par tum mentally Paris mein ho. Tum unki baaton pe "Hmm, nice" bologe bina sune. Tumhe ab 'Intellectual' conversations chahiye, jo tum khud provide nahi kar sakte.
Escapism. Tum office se jaldi nikal ke kahin door bhagne ka plan banaoge. Tumhe lagta hai 'Location Change' karne se tumhari 'Personality Change' ho jayegi. (Nahi hogi, tum wahan bhi waise hi rahoge).
Spending on "Experiences". Tum kisi useless workshop ya online course pe paise udaoge jo tum kabhi complete nahi karoge. "Learn French in 10 Days"—lol, Libra, tumse Hindi theek se nahi boli jaati.
Preachy Colleague. Office mein tum kaam kam karoge aur 'Philosophy' zyada jhadoge. "Humein big picture dekhna chahiye." Boss bolega "Excel sheet bhej, Gandhi mat ban."
Thighs & Liver. Kal ke depression mein jo alcohol piya tha, aaj uska asar liver pe dikhega. Detox karo.
"Main is duniya ke liye bana hi nahi hoon, main alien hoon."

Se Janiye
This Week
Hafte ki shuruwat mein tum ghar walon ko "Ultimatum" doge ki shanti rakho varna tum nikal jaoge. Par sach toh ye hai ki PG ka kiraya dekh ke tumhari hawa nikal jayegi. Tumhara mood 'Depressed' se seedha 'Delusional' hone wala hai—tumhe lagega ki tum kisi film ke hero ho aur sab tumhe hi dekh rahe hain.
Ghar ke andar 'Cold War' aur bahar 'Romeo' avatar. Ghar mein taane mil rahe hain toh bahar strangers se flirt karke validate feel kar rahe ho. Savdhaan! Ye "flirting" tumhe bhari pad sakti hai, pakde gaye toh aisa scene create hoga ki sambhal nahi paoge.
Tumhara travel plan sirf ghar se bhaagne ka bahana hai. Cinema hall ya kisi club mein baithna 'Vacation' nahi hota, par tumhare dimaag ko kaun samjhaye? Tum bas reality se break dhoond rahe ho.
"Main sad hoon isliye shopping karunga"—ye logic tumhe kangaal kar dega. Hobbies ke naam pe fizool-kharchi band karo. Satta aur stock market se door raho, luck abhi shaky hai.
Office ja rahe ho ya ramp walk karne? Kaam se zyada tumhe iss baat ki chinta hai ki tumhara presentation 'Pretty' dikh raha hai ya nahi. Creative ho toh thik hai, varna boss se daant padni tayyar hai.
Excitement aur anxiety se dil ki dhadkan badhi rahegi. Zyada party aur stress se acidity loading hai, Eno pocket mein rakho.
Vibe: "Meri life ek tragedy hai, par kam se kam main sundar dikh raha hoon."

Se Janiye
This Month
Apni "sacred weirdness" own kar instead of trying to be everyone’s cup of tea. Tu masala chai nahi hai jo sabko pasand aaye. 1st Feb ki social night pe actually khud ko represent kar instead of being a walking Pinterest board.
Saturn aur Neptune tere contracts reshape kar rahe hain. Stop looking for a trophy partner. Find a real "partner in crime" jo tere kalesh aur bikhre hue kamre ko jhel sake. Risk le, dar mat!
Travel unhi ke saath kar jo tere vibes aur aesthetics match karein. Agar unka Instagram feed ganda hai, toh mat ja. Tujhe beauty chahiye, par aise log bhi chahiye jo actually map padh sakein.
Steady vibes hain, par 27th Feb ke aas-paas koi "mehenga surprise" aa sakta hai. Bank balance hil jayega kyunki tune kuch shiny dekh liya aur tujhe laga "I absolutely need this." Thoda control, Uday!
Apne daily job ko dream job mein badal. Creativity wild ho rahi hai, so stop being a corporate zombie. Apna charm use kar kaam nikalwane ke liye bina actual mehnat kiye.
Physically active rehne ke creative raste dhoond. Kamre mein nanga naachna counts, par fridge tak walk karna is not exercise. Inner balance maintain kar varna tedi scale ki tarah gir jayega.
"Love is a verb," bestie. Ye koi permanent state of enthusiasm nahi hai jo rom-coms mein dikhate hain. Consistent rehna seekh aur faltu ka drama create mat kar just to feel something.
