Tedhe Samachaar ki Seedhi Baat

- Assam ke Lumding Bazar ke paas ek aadmi ne apna death certificate kho diya — while being very much alive.

- Newspaper ad bilkul serious tha: date, time, registration number sab included. Logic missing.

- Internet confused, amused, aur philosophical ho gaya: “Zinda ho toh certificate kaise?”

- Netizens ne decide kiya: yeh sirf news nahi, Indian bureaucracy folklore hai.

- Final verdict: India mein insaan mar sakta hai, par bina paperwork ke death bhi approve nahi hoti.

A News Story That Refuses To Die

India mein kuch cheezein kabhi expire nahi hoti — plastic dabbe, soan papdi, aur kuch news stories. Yeh bhi unhi mein se ek hai.

Originally spotted in 2022, yeh newspaper ad har kuchh mahine internet par wapas aa jaati hai, bilkul uss rishtedaar ki tarah jo shaadi ke baad bhi ghar chod ke nahi jaata. Log pehle haste hain, phir ruk ke sochte hain:
“Wait… yeh possible kaise hai?”

Aur phir collective answer aata hai: Possible hai, kyunki India hai.

Jab Aadmi Zinda Ho, Par Certificate Dead Ho

Assam ke Lumding Bazar ke paas ek sahib ne apna death certificate kho diya.
Haan, wahi document jo aam taur par sirf marne ke baad milta hai.

Ad mein poori seriousness thi — date, time, registration number, serial number.
Bas ek chhoti si detail missing thi: Agar death certificate kho gaya… toh aadmi zinda kaise hai?

 

Paperwork Ka Afterlife

Socho zara ek bureaucratic afterlife ka scene:

Aatma upar pahunchti hai, line mein khadi hoti hai.
Clerk bolta hai, “Death certificate dikhao.”

Aatma jawab deti hai:
“Woh Lumding Bazar mein kho gaya tha, saab.”

Clerk bina emotion ke:
“Phir toh pending mein rakhenge. Next janam mein try kariye.”

Kyunki India mein marna bhi tab tak valid nahi hota jab tak file complete na ho.

Netizens Ka Dimaag Phisla

Jaise hi yeh ad online ghoomna shuru hua, logon ne logic chhod ke philosophy pakad li. Comments aaye:

– “Certificate mil jaaye toh Heaven bhejein ya Hell?”
– “Ad-bhoot level humour.”
– “First time someone lost proof of their own exit.”

Internet ne ek hi verdict diya:
Yeh sirf news nahi, folklore hai.

 

Zinda Aadmi, Dead Document

Yeh clear nahi hai ki yeh clerical error tha, kisi urgent kaam ka pressure, ya paperwork ka woh level jahan logic silently resign kar deta hai.

Par ek baat bilkul pakki hai — Is desh mein aap bina Aadhaar ke zinda reh sakte ho, par bina death certificate… marna mushkil hai.

Boing Hall of Fame Verdict

Yeh story funny isliye nahi hai kyunki death ka mazaak hai.
Yeh funny isliye hai kyunki Indian bureaucracy mein documents zyada zinda hote hain, insaan baad mein aata hai.

Aur isi liye,
2022 se le kar aaj tak,
yeh ad har baar viral hoti rahegi.

Rest in peace?
Pehle receipt dikhao.

**

Boing FAQ's

WHO?

Assam ke ek zinda-saahab aur unka kho gaya death certificate.

WHAT?

A newspaper ad reporting a lost death certificate… filed by a living person.

WHEN?

Originally published in 2022, and resurfacing online every few months since.

WHERE?

Lumding Bazar area, Assam.

WHY?

Ya toh clerical error, ya paperwork pressure — ya phir Indian bureaucracy doing its thing.

HOW?

A formal ad with full details was published, raising one immortal question: agar death certificate kho gaya, toh aadmi zinda kaise hai?

About Author

Abbas Momin is a stand up comedian, writer, and podcaster. He has written columns for The Indian Express, Rolling Stone India and GQ India. Abbas has also hosted a film podcast called 'Has It Aged Well?' and does regular appearances on Cyrus Broacha's show 'Cyrus Says'. He has acted in the film 'Ghoomer' and the web series 'Very Parivarik'.