Kaalu, the self-appointed head of security for Shanti Vihar Apartments, has confirmed his position for a third consecutive year following a successful season in which he barked at one courier executive, two cyclists passing at legal speeds, and a plastic bag moving suspiciously near the gate. An informal resident survey reveals divided opinion. "He is largely asleep between 2pm and 5pm," noted one B-block resident. "However, so is the official security guard, so relative performance has not changed." A second resident confirmed that Kaalu did alert the colony to something in February, though investigators believe it may have been a crow. Kaalu was unavailable for detailed comment. He accepted two Parle-G biscuits from the press and walked away without further statement. His contract is understood to be renewed on a rolling basis in exchange for dinner scraps.