Scream machine ho? Sarcastic commentator? Ya eyes-closed the entire time?
Weekend aaya, sabne horror film dekhne ka plan banaya. Popcorn ready hai, lights off ho chuki hain, aur screen par shuru ho gaya bhoot-pret ka tamasha. Ab dekhte hain zodiac ke naam pe yeh 12 drama queens kaise react karte hain—
Kaun hai asli scream machine?
Kaun karega non-stop commentary?
Aur kaun poori movie aankhein band karke nikal jaayega?
♈ Aries – Jo sabse pehle chillatea hain
Shuruat mein bolte hain, “Mujhe toh bilkul dar nahi lagta.”
Lekin pehla jump-scare aate hi popcorn hawa mein uda dete hain—aadhe sofa mein, aadhe Capricorn ke baalon mein.
Phir embarrass ho ke sabko hasane lagte hain, taaki koi unka reaction seriously na le.
♉ Taurus – Snacks pe zyada focus, ghost pe zero
Scary movie kuch bhi ho, Taurus ka dhyaan sirf nachos aur pizza toppings pe hota hai.
Sab chillate hain, aur yeh calmly kehte hain, “Arre, ketchup pass karna.”
Poora suspense scene inke chewing sounds se kharaab ho jaata hai.
Aur film ke end mein poochte hain, “Waise movie ka naam kya tha?”
♊ Gemini – Har scene mein ek naya roast
Gemini ke liye yeh horror movie nahi, ek improv comedy set hai.
Basement scene pe bolte hain, “Of course, neeche jaana tha! Marne ka shauk hai kya?”
Ghosts, dialogues, aur apne friends—sabki lagataar roast chalu rehti hai.
Log annoy bhi hote hain, lekin secretly enjoy bhi kar rahe hote hain.
♋ Cancer – Jinko bhoot se zyada bhoot ki feelings chhoo jaati hain
Movie shuru hone se pehle hi tissue box side mein hota hai.
Ghost ki tragic backstory aate hi aansu chalak jaate hain—
“Bechari hurt thi, haunt karna obvious tha,” kehkar sympathy overload kar dete hain.
Victim se zyada ghost ke saath emotional bond ban jaata hai.
♌ Leo – Spoiler dena inka birthright hai
Film dekhne se pehle hi sab online read kar chuke hote hain.
Phir pretend karte hain jaise kuch bhi nahi pata.
“Guys, next scene dekhna... shock ho jaoge!”
Aur jab koi impress nahi hota, toh fake surprise mein kehte hain, “OMG mujhe toh idea hi nahi tha!”
♍ Virgo – Har scene ka forensic audit
Scary nahi, logical lag rahe hote hain.
“Yeh ghost ko kaise pata chala address?”
“Gravity toh apply hi nahi karni chahiye thi!”
Film chal rahi hoti hai, par Virgo ki science class sabka mood off kar deti hai.
♎ Libra – Aankhein band, gossip full on
Libra ne opening credits ke baad hi aankhein band kar li hoti hain.
Phir har 5 second mein poochhte hain, “Kya hua? Batao na! Actually nahi, mat batao!”
Dar bhi lagta hai, lekin drama aur gossip bhi chahiye hoti hai.
Dekha kuch nahi, lekin commentary poori chalti rehti hai.
♏ Scorpio – Jinko horror dekhke peace milta hai
Scorpio quietly horror scenes enjoy karte hain, jaise koi documentary chal rahi ho.
Sab scream kar rahe hote hain, aur yeh calmly popcorn chaba rahe hote hain.
End mein casually kehte hain, “Socho agar hum haunted house mein stay karein toh?”
Chills toh tab aate hain jab Scorpio actually serious lagte hain.
♐ Sagittarius – Adventure bhi chahiye, ghost bhi
Sagittarius ke liye yeh movie ek thrill ride hai.
“Haunted jungle mein trek karne ka plan kab bana rahe ho?”
Ya fir, “Main toh is bhoot se dosti bhi kar lun!”
Inki wild imagination se friends ka BP already high hota hai.
♑ Capricorn – Jo movie nahi, tumhari taste ka review dekhte hain
Film poori silence mein dekhte hain, aur end hote hi bolte hain,
“Zero originality. Tum logon ki movie choice weak hai.”
Inka disappointment hi real horror show ban jaata hai.
Sach kahen toh, ghost ki jagah Capricorn ko hi cast kar lena chahiye tha.
♒ Aquarius – Jo ghosts ko bhi alien theory se jod dete hain
Aquarius ke liye har horror scene ek proof hota hai conspiracy ka.
“Yeh toh aliens ka experiment lagta hai” ya “Illuminati clearly involved hai.”
Movie khatam hone ke baad bhi theories dhoondhte rehte hain.
Aur sabko convince karne ki koshish mein lag jaate hain ki ghosts are real.
♓ Pisces – Jo sabko darrate hain apne hi reaction se
Pisces ki cheekhen film ke ghost se zyada terrifying hoti hain.
Har tiny jump-scare inke liye national emergency ban jaata hai.
Friends horror movie dekhne aaye the, lekin unka entertainment Pisces khud ban jaate hain.
Gala baith jaata hai, par chillana band nahi hota.
Final Verdict:
Horror movie night sabne somehow survive kar li,
lekin asli bhoot toh har kisi ke andar ka drama tha.
Agli baar scary film dekhne ka plan ho, yaad rakhna—
Movie scary ho ya na ho, tumhare dost definitely hain.
Happy haunting! 👻
