DIGITAL DETOX ka naam sunte hi kuch log instantly shaanti mode mein chale jaate hain…aur kuch log phone rakhte hi 10 second baad usko phir se check kar lete hain “bas checking ki woh vibration mera imagination toh nahi thi?.”

Kisi ke liye detox matlab meditation, kisi ke liye panic attack, aur kisi ke liye straight up denial — “main toh waise bhi zyada online nahi rehta” -- said the person with a 16 hour/day screentime. 

Toh chaliye stars ke hisaab se jaan lete hain, aapka break-from-screen style exactly kaisa dikhta hai:

♈ Aries — “Detox? Fast, Fierce, Instant!”

Aries impulsively phone side mein rakh dete hain aur proclaim karte hain: “Aaj se break!” Do ghante baad boredom bites, toh woh nayi hobby shuru kar dete hain… aur phir iss nayi hobby ko document karne ke liye phone wapas aa jaata hai.
High-energy detox, low follow-through, but cute enthusiasm.

♉ Taurus — “Soft Life Detox”

Taurus ka detox = comfort festival. Blanket, warm drink, scented candle, slow playlist — full cozy vibe. Phone side mein quietly face-down, because unka focus sirf relaxation pe hota hai, notifications pe nahi.
Detox leve: Bliss.

♊ Gemini — “On-Off-On-Off Detox”

Geminis digital detox announce karte hain… phir 15 minutes baad ek reel share karte hue dikhenge. Detox unke liye mental toggle hota hai — half the time online, half offline, full confusion. But when they really unplug, they rediscover 10 new passions. Then be prepared to listen to a half an hour TED talk on how detox is the BEST thing ever! (as a voice note of course)

♋ Cancer — “Safe Space Detox”

Cancer ka detox emotional reset jaisa hota hai. Phone rakhke woh journal likhte hain, room clean karte hain, ya long bath lete hain.
Unke liye detox = apne aap se connection.

♌ Leo — “Detox but Make It Dramatic”

Leo detox ko announcement bana dete hai. “Guys, I’m taking time for myself.”
That's until they realise how will they post all the self-care selfies? This is then followed by a massive meltdown. Now the Leo's detox is a problem not just for them but everyoe around them. Agar aap ek Leo ke roommate, partner, ya sibling hain toh unke detox phase mein our sympathies are with you. Ab aapko unhe utna hi attention dena hoga jitna unhe sociakl media se milta tha. 

♍ Virgo — “Perfectly Structured Detox”

Virgo detox ke time rules set karte hai: No phone after 9 pm, limited social media, morning journaling, evening walk. Unka detox organised hota hai, effective hota hai, and they actually stick to it. Weirdos!

 

♎ Libra — “Aesthetic Detox Mode”

Libra detox = pretty playlist, warm lighting, cute notebook, tidy desk.
Everything looks curated. Even their offline hours look Pinterest worthy

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♏ Scorpio — “Silent Vanish Detox”

Scorpios suddenly disappear ho jaate hain. No texts, no stories, no reels — bas quiet, deep self-time. This might be a bit panic inducing to their near and dear ones but a little bit of digging will show that they would have mentioned this detox time to some close friend some 3 weeks ago. 

♐ Sagittarius — “Adventure Detox”

Saggitarius detox means go outside. Walk, trek, ride, make a random chai-stop — unki energy tabhi recharge hoti hai jab phone unke pocket se door ignore ho raha ho. Unplugged = unleashed.

♑ Capricorn — “Productive Detox”

Capricorn detox ke dauran kaam karenge — literally. Room clean, spreadsheets updated, bookshelf organised, long-term planning — unka detox productive hota hai. Screens off, discipline on.

♒ Aquarius — “Weirdly Innovative Detox”

Aquarius detox ka matlab new experiment.
DIY gadget repair, random art project, social commentary notebook, ya koi new idea testing. Phone se door rehna unhe creative genius bana deta hai.

♓ Pisces — “Dreamy Escape Detox”

Pisces digital detox ko soft retreat bana dete hain. Book, chai, soft music, window stare, daydream — sab ek dreamy cloud mein merge ho jaata hain.
Phone unko disturb hi nahi karta, kyunki woh apne magical world mein khoye hue hote hain.

About Author

Abbas Momin is a stand up comedian, writer, and podcaster. He has written columns for The Indian Express, Rolling Stone India and GQ India. Abbas has also hosted a film podcast called 'Has It Aged Well?' and does regular appearances on Cyrus Broacha's show 'Cyrus Says'. He has acted in the film 'Ghoomer' and the web series 'Very Parivarik'.