Life mein gussa toh sabko aata hai, but kya karte ho uske baad? Kuch log full Karan Johar movie bana dete hain, kuch log WhatsApp status lagake indirect revenge lete hain, aur kuch log toh bas andar hi andar jalte rehte hain like slow cooker dal. Toh chalo dekhte hain ki aapka zodiac sign kya karta hai jab dimag ka fuse udd jaata hai.
♈ Aries – Instant Noodles Ki Tarah 2-Minute Mein Phoot Jaate Ho
Aries ka gussa dekha hai? Bhai sahab, volcano eruption se bhi fast hota hai. Inke paas koi filter nahi hai, jo mann mein aaya woh mooh pe. "Tu jaanta nahi mera baap kaun hai" waali energy full on. Phir 10 minute baad khud hi sorry bolne aa jaate hain because guilt hit kar jaata hai. But tab tak saamne waale ka already cardiac arrest ho chuka hota hai.
♉ Taurus – Silent Treatment Ka Patent Inhone Hi Karwaya Hai
Taurus jab gusse mein hote hain toh pura ghar Antarctica ban jaata hai. Koi baat nahi, koi eye contact nahi, bas khana khaate time plate pe chhuri chammach ka sound extra loud. Inke andar ka gussa pressure cooker ki tarah build hota rehta hai. Phir ek din randomly 2019 ki baat lekar fight karte hain. "Remember jab tumne mere birthday pe vanilla cake laya tha instead of chocolate?"
♊ Gemini – Sarcasm Ki Dukaan Khol Dete Ho
Gemini ka gussa confusing hota hai kyunki yeh log haste haste bhi roast kar dete hain. "Arey koi baat nahi, tum toh perfect ho na" bolke aisi smile denge ki samajh nahi aayega compliment hai ya insult. Phir group chat mein jaake screenshot bhejenge with caption "Dekho isko." Next day normal behave karenge jaise kuch hua hi nahi.
♋ Cancer – Emotional Blackmail Olympics Ke Gold Medalist
Cancer ka gussa pure Ekta Kapoor serial jaisa hota hai. "Main tumhare liye kya kya nahi kiya" se shuru hoke "Ab main kisi ko burden nahi dena chahta" pe khatam. Crying session mandatory hai. Phir apne room mein jaake sad songs sunte hain aur diary mein likhte hain. Next morning breakfast mein extra pyaar se paratha banayenge guilt trip complete karne ke liye.
♌ Leo – Drama Queen/King Mode Activate
Leo ka gussa dekhna hai toh popcorn lekar baitho. Full theatrical performance milegi. "How dare you?" se lekar "I don't deserve this disrespect" tak ka journey. Voice modulation, hand gestures, sab kuch. Phir Instagram story pe cryptic quotes daalenge about fake people. But secretly wait karenge ki koi aake manaye aur bole "Aap toh raja ho, galti humari hai."
♍ Virgo – Excel Sheet Mein Tumhari Galtiyan List Karenge
Virgo ka gussa systematic hota hai. Pehle mentally note karenge, phir evidence collect karenge, phir perfect timing ka wait. Jab attack karenge toh dates, time, screenshots sab ready. "15th March ko tumne yeh bola tha, 23rd April ko yeh kiya tha" type ka presentation denge. Emotional nahi, pure logical destruction. Phir khud hi solution bhi suggest kar denge.
♎ Libra – Passive Aggressive Ka Headquarters
Libra kabhi directly gussa nahi dikhayega. "It's fine, I'm not mad" bolke phir Instagram pe quotes share karenge about loyalty aur trust. Group hangout mein tumhe ignore karenge but baaki sabse extra sweet. Phir mutual friend ke through message bhijwayenge. Direct confrontation? Never. Indirect warfare? Always. But phir khud hi confuse ho jaate hain ki gussa kis baat ka tha.
♏ Scorpio – Revenge Best Served Cold Waale Log
Scorpio ka gussa underground hota hai. Kuch nahi bolenge, bas eyes se hi samajh jaayega ki game over. Yeh log revenge ka plan banate hain jo 6 mahine baad execute hoga. Trust issues already hote hain, gussa aane pe toh CIA level investigation shuru. Password change, mutual friends se info nikalna, sab. Once trust toota toh wapas building mushkil.
♐ Sagittarius – Brutally Honest Ka Overdose
Sagittarius gusse mein filter kho deta hai completely. Jo mann mein hai woh bol denge, chahe kitna bhi harsh ho. "Tumhari yeh habit mujhe pehle se hi pasand nahi thi" type ke truth bombs. Phir immediately topic change karke pizza order karne lag jaayenge. Inke liye gussa temporary emotion hai, but damage permanent ho jaata hai.
♑ Capricorn – Professional Email Jaisa Cold Response
Capricorn ka gussa corporate style mein aata hai. Emotionally disconnect ho jaayenge, bas work ki baat. "As discussed earlier" waale tone mein personal conversation bhi karenge. Disappointment unke chehre pe dikhta hai but words mein nahi. Phir success mein revenge lete hain. "Dekha, maine kaha tha na" waali energy years baad bhi maintain karte hain.
♒ Aquarius – Alien Ban Jaate Ho Jaise Duniya Se Koi Lena Dena Nahi
Aquarius gusse mein robot ban jaata hai. Emotional response? Zero. Bas blank stare aur "Okay, cool" bolke chale jaayenge. Phir 3 din gayab, phone switch off, social media deactivate. Wapas aayenge toh behave karenge jaise memory loss ho gaya ho. "Gussa? Kis baat ka gussa?" But andar hi andar mental notes bana rahe hote hain future reference ke liye.
♓ Pisces – Victim Card Championship Ke Winners
Pisces ka gussa emotional tsunami hota hai. Khud galti karke bhi somehow victim ban jaate hain. "Mujhe samjha hi nahi jaata" bolke disappear ho jaayenge. Sad playlist, poetry writing, dream mein revenge scenarios, sab chalta hai. Phir emotional manipulation karke situation flip kar denge. End mein saamne waala hi sorry bolega confusion mein.
Toh batao, aapka anger management style kaunsa hai? Koi bhi ho, yaad rakhna ki gussa aana normal hai, but usse kaise handle karte ho woh aapki asli personality dikhata hai. Aur haan, agar kisi Scorpio ko gussa dilaya hai recently toh abhi se hi witness protection program mein apply kar do. Cosmic advice free mein de rahe hain, lelo!
