(Ya: Kripya apna emotional raita mere intellectual space mein na failayein)

MUJHE ek baat batao. Kya mere maathe pe "Customer Care" ka tattoo hai? Ya meri aura se "Free WiFi" ke signals nikalte hain?

Mujhe samajh nahi aata yeh kab shuru hua. Kab main woh insaan ban gaya jisko log tab call karte hain jab unki life ka logic fail ho jaata hai.

• "Yaar, woh reply nahi kar raha, kya karoon?" -> Call Aquarius.

• "Yaar, mujhe job chhodni hai par darr lag raha hai." -> Call Aquarius.

• "Yaar, duniya khatam hone wali hai kya?" -> Call Aquarius.

Suno doston. Main insaan hoon (kabhi-kabhi doubt hota hai, par hoon). Main Google nahi hoon. Aur main definitely tumhara emotional dustbin nahi hoon.

The Myth: "Tu Toh Robot Hai, Tujhe Kya Farq Padta Hai"

Sab yahi bolte hain: "Tu handle kar lega." "Tu kitna logical hai." "Tere paas toh feelings hi nahi hain."

Correction: Mere paas feelings hain. Bas main unhe tumhari tarah public display pe nahi lagata. Hum Aquarians emotions ko feel nahi karte, hum unhe process karte hain. Jaise CPU data process karta hai.

Jab tum rote ho, main tissue nahi dhoondhta. Main solution dhoondhta hoon. Agar main tumhare saath baith ke ro nahi raha, iska matlab yeh nahi ki main rude hoon. Iska matlab hai ki main efficient hoon.

The "Alien" Observer (Humari Alag Duniya Hai)

Tumhe lagta hai main tumhari problem sun raha hoon? Adha time main yeh soch raha hota hoon ki: "Insaan itne stupid kyun hote hain?" "Kya hum sach mein Aliens ke experiment hain?"

Aquarius ka dimaag 50 saal aage chalta hai. Aur tum aake humein wapas "ex ne seen-zone kiya" waale purane zamaane mein kheench lete ho. Bhai, hum Mars pe colony basane ki soch rahe hain, aur tum abhi bhi "Block-Unblock" khel rahe ho? Level up karo.

The "Fixer" Trap (Main UN Peacekeeping Force Nahi Hoon)

Mujhe puzzles pasand hain. Drama nahi. Tum log mere paas aate ho advice lene. Main deta hoon (best advice, obviously). Aur phir tum kya karte ho? Wahi karte ho jo tumhara mann karta hai.

Toh bhai, mera time kyun waste kiya?

• Tum dono ladte ho -> Main Mediator.

• Tum dono patch-up karte ho -> Main Gayab.

• Tum dono break-up karte ho -> Main phir se "Voice of Reason."

Mera dimag logic pe chalta hai. Tumhara rishta magic (aur thodi stupidity) pe chalta hai. Humara koi mel nahi hai.

The "Ghosting" Protocol (Mera Brahmastra)

Log bolte hain: "Aquarians emotionally unavailable hote hain." Galat. Hum emotionally exhausted hote hain tumhari harkaton se.

Jab tumhara drama mere mental bandwidth se bahar ho jaata hai, main ladta nahi hoon. Main shor nahi machata. Main bas... dissolve ho jaata hoon.

• Seen zone? Haan.

• Late replies? Haan.

• Flight Mode? Hamesha.

Yeh rude nahi hai. Yeh self-preservation hai. Main apni energy bacha raha hoon kyunki mujhe duniya bachani hai (ya kam se kam apna dimaag bachana hai).

The Quiet Resentment (God's Eye View)

Hum bolte nahi, par hum notice sab karte hain. Humara "Observation Mode" hamesha On rehta hai.

• Kaun sirf matlab ke liye call karta hai.

• Kaun humein "Weird" bolta hai par advice humi se leta hai.

• Kaun humari "Space" ki respect nahi karta.

Main antisocial nahi hoon. Main bas high standards rakhta hoon conversation ke liye. Agar tumhare paas mausam aur gossip ke alawa koi topic nahi hai, toh mera server down hai.

Zodiac Footnote (The Rebellion)

Most Likely To Run The 24/7 NGO: Cancer, Pisces, Virgo. (Tum log darwaza band karna seekho, thak jaoge).

Most Likely To Suddenly Shut It Down: Aquarius. (Aur jab Aquarius shut down karta hai na...)

Woh drama nahi hota. Woh dhamki nahi hoti. Woh System Shutdown hota hai. Screen kaali. Batti gul. Tum dhundhte reh jaoge, hum apni UFO mein baith ke nikal lenge.

Final Line

Main tumhara dost hoon. Par main tumhara rehab centre nahi hoon. Agar logic chahiye, toh aao. Agar rona-dhona chahiye, toh Cancer ke paas jao. Donation box band hai. Spacecraft take-off ke liye taiyaar hai.

PATA KARO | Do Aquarians Avoid People, Or Just Society Itself?