♈ Aries: “Main call nahi karta, main invade karta hoon.”
Aries long distance ko war zone bana dete hain. Aaj “I miss you”, kal “I can’t do this anymore.” Aapka pyaar passionate hota hai — lekin mood swings 5G se bhi fast. Video call pe fight, text pe make-up, aur phir repeat.
♉ Taurus: “Mujhe hugs chahiye, emojis nahi.”
Taurus log hugs, cuddles, aur stability ke bina survive nahi kar paate. Aapko “good morning” se zyada “good touch” chahiye. Long distance mein candlelight dinner ko Zoom se replace karne ki koshish karte ho — aur thoda sad ho jaate ho jab camera lag karta hai.
♊Gemini: “Kabhi baby, kabhi busy.”
Ek din “baby” bolke 200 messages bhejte ho, next day ghost mode. Geminis long distance mein unpredictable hote hain, call karoge toh chatterbox, call nahi karoge toh silent mode. Aapki love story WhatsApp chat jaisi hai: typing... deleting... typing again.
♋ Cancer: “Tum khana kha lo, main rona shuru karta hoon.”
Aap long distance mein feelings ka samundar leke baithte hain. Har “I miss you” aap literally le lete hain. Video call pe emotional meltdown, aur phir “tumne khana khaye?” puchhna — pure Bollywood lover energy. Aapka pyaar soft bhi hai, but…um, slightly clingy bhi.
♌Leo: “Tumhe lagta hai main overreact kar raha hoon? Correct.”
Aapko attention chahiye — har call mein spotlight, har text mein reaction. Long distance ke beech bhi aap apna mini rom-com shoot kar lete hain. Over-the-top gestures, cute fights aur dramatic “tum badal gaye ho” monologues — sab included.
♍ Virgo: “I’ve made an Excel for our emotions.”
Aap love ko Excel sheet mein dal doge. “Next call at 8:30 PM”, “visit schedule pending”, “monthly goal: 3 dates.” Long distance ho ya local, Virgos ko love mein bhi productivity tracker chahiye. Thoda overthinker, but genuinely loyal. Love on schedule.
♎Libra: “Mera video call pe angle perfect hona chahiye.”
Aapka FaceTime setup tripod pe hota hai, candle behind laptop. Aesthetic even in heartbreak. Long distance mein bhi cute texts, matching playlists aur digital hugs bhejne wale aap hi ho. Balance maintain karte ho — even between crying and contouring.
♏ Scorpio: “Main trust karta hoon… par stalking bhi karta hoon.”
Long distance Scorpio ke liye trust test hota hai. Aap ya toh 200% invested ho, ya full detective mode mein ho, no in-between. Calls deep hote hain, texts late-night poetic, aur jealousy slightly cinematic. Aapka love hota hai thoda dark, pat oh so addictive.
♐Sagittarius: “Main time zone se nahi, emotions se late hota hoon.”
Sagittarians long distance ko problem nahi, opportunity samajhte hain. “Tum wahan explore karo, main yahan.” Calls ke beech memes bhej doge, aur har baat ko adventure bana doge. Chill ho, loyal ho, bas thoda emotionally WiFi weak hai.
♑ Capricorn: “Main drama nahi karta, main deadline set karta hoon.”
Aapka pyaar realistic hota hai. “Let’s plan, not panic” wali energy. Daily calls set karte ho, long-term goals fix karte ho, aur emotional drame ko mute kar dete ho. Long distance mein bhi dependable, bas kabhi kabhi a little too serious.
♒Aquarius: “Main text kam karta hoon, telepath zyada.”
Aapko space chahiye — literally aur emotionally. Long distance gives you the perfect excuse to be “independent but in love.” Thoda offbeat, thoda unpredictable, par genuinely care karte ho apne unique way mein. Texts late aate hain, par thoughtful hote hain.
♓Pisces: “Main call nahi karta, filmy background music lagata hoon.”
Pisces log distance mein bhi imagination se relationship chala lete hain. Har call ek filmy scene, har message ek poetry. Aapko “goodnight baby” se zyada “goodnight, my universe” likhna pasand hai. Thoda emotional, thoda dreamy— full romantic novel love story ka mood.
**
BOING Zodiac Personality Quiz
Q1. Jab aapka partner “I miss you” bhejta hai, aapka pehla reaction?
A. “Main call nahi karta, main invade karta hoon.” Full drama mode on.
B. “Aww” + video call + mild emotional breakdown.
C. “Ok cool, kal milen na.” Practical aur schedule ready.
D. “Haha same” + meme reply + disappearing for 2 days.
Q2. Long distance mein aapka communication style kya hai?
A. 50 calls ek din mein – pyaar bhi aur fight bhi.
B. Daily texts aur perfect lighting video calls only.
C. Kabhi “baby”, kabhi “busy” – mood dependent.
D. Messages kam, telepathic connection zyada.
Q3. Aapka relationship planning approach kya hota hai?
A. “Let’s plan our next fight.”
B. “I’ve made an Excel for our emotions.”
C. “Let’s see where the universe takes us, yaar.”
D. “Main Zoom pe romance nahi, Zoom pe dinner chahta hoon.”
Q4. Jab partner reply late karta hai, aap…
A. 10 bar check karte ho ‘Last Seen’.
B. 1 poem likh dete ho sad music ke saath.
C. Chill ho jate ho – “network issue hoga.”
D. 3 new selfies bhej dete ho taaki attention wapis mile.
Q5. Aapke according, perfect long-distance love ka formula kya hai?
A. Passion + Drama + Overreaction = True Love.
B. Planning + Discipline + Good Wi-Fi.
C. Humor + Freedom + Low Expectations.
D. Tears + Poetry + Filmy Background Music.
RESULTS
(Count your mostly A’s, B’s, C’s or D’s.)
Mostly A’s – Aries / Leo Energy
Long-distance ho ya short-distance, aap hero mode mein rehte ho. Calls, fights, and make-ups are all high drama. Passion full volume pe hai.
Mostly B’s – Virgo / Capricorn / Libra Vibes
Aap love ko system banate ho. Schedules, FaceTime lighting aur emotional Excel – sab sorted. Reliable and lowkey romantic.
Mostly C’s – Gemini / Sagittarius / Aquarius Energy
Thoda flaky, thoda funny – but never boring. Text delay hota hai, lekin meme time par aata hai. Free-spirited lover vibes.
Mostly D’s – Cancer / Pisces / Scorpio Energy
Aapka pyaar deep aur dramatic hai. Background music ke saath crying, late-night texts, aur poetic goodnights. Filmy romantic soul.
About Author
Abbas Momin is a stand up comedian, writer, and podcaster. He has written columns for The Indian Express, Rolling Stone India and GQ India. Abbas has also hosted a film podcast called 'Has It Aged Well?' and does regular appearances on Cyrus Broacha's show 'Cyrus Says'. He has acted in the film 'Ghoomer' and the web series 'Very Parivarik'.
