(Be honest. Apna khud ka kaatna band karo. The algorithm sees your soul.)

Sabko lagta hai ki unka dating game bohot strong hai. Sab aake doston ko bolte hain, "Main toh bohot chill hoon yaar, mujhe koi drama nahi chahiye." Jhooth. Safed jhooth. Tumhara idea of a "Perfect Date" actually tumhari aatma ka X-ray hai. Humne yeh quiz banaya hai taaki tumhara delusion toot sake. Zyadatar log relationship mein isiliye fail nahi hote kyunki unhe pyaar nahi milta, balki isiliye kyunki unka 'Fatal Flaw' unki common sense se zyada loud hota hai.

Toh chalo, apni imaginary perfect date plan karo, aur hum tumhe tumhari asli aukaat... ahem, reality dikhate hain. Choose instinctively. Zyada dimaag mat lagana. (Unless tum Virgo ho, phir toh tum already chaaron options ko over-analyse karke baithe ho. Carry on).

1️⃣ Date ka 'Vibe' kya hai? (Kahan jaa rahe ho?)

A. Candlelight dinner. Mehengi jagah jahan menu padhne mein dictionary lagti hai. Soft music. Intense eye contact jisse saamne waala thoda intimidate ho jaaye. 

B. Road trip. Koi plan nahi. Highway, petrol, aur existential baatein. Agar tyre puncture hua toh usko bhi "adventure" bolenge. 

C. Art gallery, museum ya koi long walk. Aisi jagah jahan tum prove kar sako ki tumhara IQ unse zyada hai. Deep conversation is a must. 

D. House party ya crowded rooftop. Aisi jagah jahan tumhare kam se kam 4 dost tumhe dekh sakein, taaki agar date bekaar ho, toh tum unhe rescue signal de sako. 

E. Cozy night in. Tumhara couch. Zomato ka bill. Ek hi blanket. Aur date shuru hone ke 45 minute baad hi childhood trauma ka full-blown discussion.

2️⃣ Pehan kya rahe ho? (Outfit ka dhokha)

A. Aisa timeless outfit jisko select karne mein 3 ghante lage, par tum wahan jaake bologe: "Maine toh bas aise hi randomly kuch utha liya tha."

B. Comfortable but hot. Functional. Taaki agar date boring nikle ya red flag dikhe, toh tum wahan se literally sprint maarte hue bhaag sako. 

C. Neutral tones. Structured. Intentional. Aisa lag raha hai jaise date pe nahi, seedha kisi VC ko apna startup pitch karne aaye ho. 

D. Statement outfit. Poori duniya bhaad mein jaaye, aaj red carpet mera hai. Main character energy jisse saamne wale ka confidence thoda hil jaaye. 

E. Soft fabrics. Boho, flowy, aur highly impractical. Kyunki tum date pe nahi, ek Bollywood picture ke set pe ho.

3️⃣ Mid-date, woh kuch mildly annoying bolte hain. Tumhara reaction:

A. Halke se muskuraoge. Kuch nahi bologe. Par dimaag ki hard drive mein yeh paap save ho gaya hai. 6 mahine baad ek ladayi mein seedha taana maroge. 

B. Usi waqt bezzati karoge. "Bhai, kya bol raha hai tu?" Humor ke naam pe seedha attack kar doge. 

C. Interview mode ON. Tum cross-questioning shuru karoge. "Tumhe aisa kyun lagta hai? Tumhari ideology ka root cause kya hai?"

D. Tum usko ek loud, dramatic joke mein badal doge taaki aas-paas ke log bhi hassein aur usko apni aukaat pata chale. 

E. Andar se poora system hil jayega. Rona aayega. Par chehre pe ek dard bhari muskaan hogi aur bologe: "Nahi nahi, I totally understand."

4️⃣ Date ke baad ghar pahunchte hi tum:

A. Ego sabse upar hai. Phone ko ghooroge par pehla message nahi karoge. Dignity compromise nahi honi chahiye boss. 

B. Ghar pahunchne se pehle hi cab se message bhej doge: "Crazy fun yaaar 🤣💀". Boundaries kya hoti hain? 

C. Akele baith ke unka SWOT analysis karoge. "Iske core values mere 5-year plan se align karte hain?"

D. Ek bohot hi cryptic Instagram story daaloge ek aesthetic gaane ke saath jiska hidden meaning sirf tum (aur tumhari ex) jaante ho. 

E. Poori raat WhatsApp chat wapas padhoge. Har comma, har emoji ka hidden meaning nikaloge aur khud ko torture karoge.

5️⃣ Tumhare dimaag mein sabse bada "Green Flag" kya hai?

A. Stability. Jo insaan bill time pe bharta ho aur zindagi mein drama na kare. 

B. Adventure. Jo insaan kabhi bhi boring na ho (भले ही kitna bhi unreliable ho). 

C. Intelligence. Jo insaan argument mein logical points rakh ke tumhe hara sake. 

D. Admiration. Jo insaan tumhe aise dekhe jaise tum duniya ka aathwa ajooba ho. 

E. Emotional Intensity. Jismein thoda rona-dhona aur gehra dard chhupa ho.

YOUR RESULT (The Brutal Truth)

Count your most frequent letter. Aur rona mat.

Mostly A’s: The "Pressure Cooker" Lover

(Calm On The Outside, Spiral On The Inside)

Tumhe stability chahiye. Tum chahte ho sab kuch solid aur predictable ho. Par tumhara fatal flaw kya hai? Tum internalise karte ho. Tum phat-te nahi, tum archive karte ho. Tum ladte nahi, tum chup-chaap dimaag mein resignation letter type karte rehte ho. Tumhe lagta hai tum bohot composed aur mature ho. But really? Tum ek silent case file bana rahe ho, aur ek din tum achanak bag pack karke nikal jaoge bina koi warning diye. Saamne wala sochta reh jayega hua kya. 

Most likely to be: Capricorn (Alt energy: Taurus, Virgo)

Mostly B’s: The "Vibes Only" Getaway Driver

(The "Fun First, Feelings Later" Escape Artist)

Tum electric ho. Flirty ho. Tumhare saath maza bohot aata hai. Par tum bhaagte bohot tez ho. Jaise hi conversation heavy hoti hai, tumhara flight mode on ho jaata hai. Tum turant topic change karte ho, meme bhejte ho, ya trip plan karne lagte ho. Tumhara fatal flaw? Tum emotional discomfort ko flight ki turbulence samajhte ho. Tumhe lagta hai thodi der mein theek ho jayega, bas cross kar lo. Tumhe hawa mein udna pasand hai, par kahin permanent land karne mein maut aati hai. 

Most likely to be: Sagittarius (Alt energy: Gemini, Aries)

Mostly C’s: The "Relationship Auditor" (CA of Love)

(The Emotionally Intellectual Analyst)

Tumhe depth chahiye. Tumhe compatibility chahiye. Par problem yeh hai ki tum pyaar ko exam ki tarah dete ho. Tum chemistry ko ek startup pitch ki tarah evaluate karte ho. Tum ise "Discernment" aur "Standards" bolte ho. Baaki duniya ise "Exhausting" bolti hai. Tumhara fatal flaw? Tumse mess handle nahi hota. Aur insaan naturally messy hote hain. Tum over-optimise karne ke chakkar mein aadhi zindagi akele Excel sheet banate reh jaoge ki "Is this logically the best fit?"

Most likely to be: Virgo (Alt energy: Aquarius, Capricorn)

Mostly D’s: The "Attention Ka Bhookha" Superstar

(The "Main Character" Romantic)

Tumhe bade gestures pasand hain. Tum chahte ho koi tumhe duniya ke saamne publicly choose kare aur gaane gaaye. Par tumhara fatal flaw? Tumhe validation ka surround sound chahiye. Agar tumhare partner ki attention ya admiration 5% bhi dip hui, toh tumhara ego aise hurt hota hai jaise kisine tumhe thappad maar diya ho. Tum actually date nahi karte, tum "Love" perform karte ho apne imaginary audience ke liye. 

Most likely to be: Leo (Alt energy: Libra, Aries)

Mostly E’s: The "Kabaad Se Jugaad" Believer

(The "Potential Over Reality" Dreamer)

Tum uss insaan se pyaar nahi karte jo tumhare saamne khada hai. Tum uske future "Potential" se pyaar karte ho jise tumne khud apne dimaag mein direct kiya hai. Tumhara fatal flaw? Tum red flags ko fairy lights samajh ke apne room mein decorate kar lete ho. Tumhe lagta hai tumhara pyaar kisi ko bhi fix kar dega. Tum character flaws ko "tragic backstory" bolke khud ko bewakoof banate ho. Wake up, bestie. Tum rehab centre nahi chala rahe. 

Most likely to be: Pisces (Alt energy: Cancer, Libra)

PATA KARO |  How Each Zodiac Pretends They’re Totally Chill in Love