HAR OFFICE MEIN ek insaan hota hai jo kaam kam karta hai, par coverage zyada deta hai. Jo meeting ke baad bhi ‘Meeting Recap’ bhejta hai taaki sabko yaad rahe ki woh wahan the. Jo tumhe 17 emails mein CC karta hai, par deliverable ek bhi attach nahi hota. Humne poocha: Yeh multitasking genius hai, ya sirf Gemini-flavoured noise pollution?

"Geminis ka kaam dekhne se zyada sunai deta hai. Inka deliverable Excel sheet nahi, sirf ‘Alignment’ hai. Har mail mein 14 log CC, subject line ‘Urgent Sync’, aur body text mein zero decisions. They aren't managing the project, they are hosting a podcast about it."
— Kabir, 27, Gurgaon Strategy Consultant (Uses ‘Synergy’ Unironically)

"They don’t do tasks, they do threads. Inka ‘Reply All’ button legally weaponised hai. Ek simple approval ke liye poora email chain bana dete hain jismein sab emotionally exhaust ho jaate hain. By the end, kaam approve nahi hota, bas sabka patience resign kar deta hai."
— Mehak, 29, Chandigarh HR Professional (Sent ‘Regards’ But Meant ‘Die’)

"They are a suspicious amount of ‘visible’. Standup mein bolenge, brainstorm mein bolenge, Slack huddle mein gaana gayenge. Par actual Jira ticket? Sannaata. Gemini ka sprint planning ek TED Talk hota hai—inspiring, but technically useless."
— Arjun, 34, Bengaluru Product Manager (Treats Dates Like Jira Tickets)

"Geminis ka favourite kaam hai ‘Just looping you in’. Loop mein kya hai? Kyun hai? Koi nahi jaanta. Par unko lagta hai CC list jitni lambi, utna bada promotion. Bro, yeh KRA nahi hai, yeh engagement baiting hai."
— Ritu, 26, Jaipur Content Creator (Manifesting a Paid Collab)

"Sir ne mujhe mail forward kiya with ‘FYI’. Phir usi mail pe mujhe reply karne bola. Bhai agar FYI tha toh ab mera kaam kyun? Stop perceiving me. Gemini logic mere stipend grade se upar hai."
— Rishabh, 23, Mumbai Gen Z Intern (Quiet Quitting Since Day 3)

"Mujhe Gemini employees family WhatsApp group jaise lagte hain. Har baat pe forward. Har baat pe opinion. Kaam ho ya na ho, notification aana chahiye. Inko lagta hai shanti ka matlab unemployment hai."
— Neelam, 45, Ghaziabad Homemaker (Admin of 14 Family Groups)

"They confuse activity with productivity. Gemini ka dashboard bahut strong hota hai—status updates, pings, follow-ups—but backend mein kaun code likh raha hai, yeh kisi ko nahi pata. They are essentially A/B testing my sanity."
— Shivani, 33, Pune UX Researcher (A/B Testing Her Relationships)

"Look, volume is a metric. Agar main din mein 40 emails bhej raha hoon, toh I am dominating the bandwidth. ROI negative ho sakta hai, par optical visibility toh All Time High hai na?"
— Varun, 25, Pune Fintech Bro (Sent a Splitwise Request for ₹4)

"Geminis ka talent yeh hai ki jab kaam phas jaata hai, toh responsibility ‘democratize’ kar dete hain—sab pe blame divide ho jaata hai. Par jab credit milta hai? Tab suddenly Single Sign-On. It’s a Ponzi scheme of accountability."
— Irfan, 39, Kochi Operations Lead (Professionally Dissociated)

THE VERDICT: Sach yeh hai ki Geminis kaam karte hain…bas woh kaam ko 'content' bana dete hain. Unke liye Silence = Death. Movement = Progress. Aur CC List = Safety Net.

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Agar tum Gemini ke saath kaam kar rahe ho, toh yaad rakho: Unka “looping you in” ka matlab help maangna nahi hota. Bas yeh hota hai ki ab tum bhi is chaos ke legal witness ho.

Reply zaroori nahi. Bas 'Seen' rehna kaafi hai taaki kal ko blame share kar sako.

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Boing Universe Clarification: Yeh log real bhi ho sakte hain, imaginary bhi — bilkul aapke colleagues ke jaise. Agar kisi ka quote thoda zyada personally lag gaya, toh astrology ko blame karo, humein nahi.