FOOD DELIVERY APPS ne aaj kal hum sabko thoda impatient bana diya hai — khaana mangao aur chhapan bhog ki ummeed rakho, woh bhi lightning speed mein. Lekin jab woh “Your order is delayed” ka notification aa jaaye, tab asli personality test shuru hota hai. Koi delivery guy ko live GPS jaise track karta hai, koi philosophical TED Talk shuru kar deta hai, aur koi backup order daal kar double dinner plan bana leta hai.

Patience ka pop quiz sabke liye same hai, par reaction har zodiac ka apna unique flavour le kar aata hai. Toh chalo dekhte hain — jab khaana late ho jaaye, toh aapka sign kitchen mein rebellion shuru karta hai, ya sympathy ke saath delivery boy ke liye candle jalata hai.

Aries – “Khaana laate ho ya main khud banau?”

Aries sign wale ‘patience’ shabd ko dictionary se delete kar chuke hain. Khaana 5 minute late hua and they’re already messaging the delivery guy: “Tu aa raha hai ya main khud aa jaun lene?” Agar aur late hua toh khud kitchen mein ghuske ghar mein pade namkeen mein nimbu mirch milake ek makeshift snack bana lenge to satisfy their hunger aur jab tak food actually deliver hoga they will realise ki bhool toh mar chuki hai.

Taurus – “15 minute door hai…ab 14 minute”

Delivery tracking screen par inki nazar aise lagi rehti hai jaise ek moth ki lightbulb par. Delivery person ke har turn ko aise track karenge jaise koi crime thriller dekh rahe ho: “Abhi chowk cross kiya… abhi nukkad wali paan ki dukaan ke paas hai.” Par jitni der tak woh screen dekhte hain utna hi dheere deliver partner bike aage badhaata hai.When finally the delivery person reaches their door toh yeh unhe “I didn’t expect this from you, bro” wala look dete hain.

Gemini – “Sab log meri complain suno varna…”

Teen jagah parallel tamasha: delivery guy ko call, app par chat, group chat pe complain, aur Insta pe rant. Khud hi poll daal denge: “Should I cancel or wait?” Aur jab khana aayega toh teen alag-alag versions banake sabko story sunayenge. 

Cancer – “Delivery person ke baare mein bhi toh socho…”

Cancerians apni bhook ke saath saath delivery boy ke liye bhi concern dikhaate hain: “Usne lunch kiya hoga nahi? Garmi mein kaise bike chala ke aa raha hoga?” Lekin andar se pet mein 30 piece orchestra gud gud kar raha hota hai. Some half an hour later the tears of concern and tummy growls start playing in perfect sync.

Leo – “Jaanta hai mera khaana kaun hai?”

Personal attack le lete hain. “How dare they keep ME waiting? Do they not know who I am?” “Never ordering again ” Matlab khudko superstar samajhke tantrum thow karenge. Yeh baat alag hai ki 2 din baad usi restaurant se dobara order karte hue dikhaayi denge because hey, delivery discount ke aage tantrums ki kya keemat?

Virgo – “Calculation ke hisaab se sirf 3 minute late hona chahiye tha 4 nahi”

Virgo ka khana late aaya toh bas samajh lo woh “case study” ban jaata hai. Exact minutes calculate karke delivery guy ko detail report denge. “Dekhiye, 12:37 pe order place hua tha, aur abhi 1:09 baj rahe hain. Yeh 32 minutes ki delay hai, not acceptable.” Delivery app waale bhi confuse ho jaate hain ki yeh complaint hai ya kisi ne unka annual performance review shuru kar diya hai.

Libra – “Cancel karu ki wait karu?”

Delivery late = existential crisis. Cancel karein? Wait karein? Khud bana lein? Nimbu paani pi ke hi so jaayein? Decision lene mein aadha ghanta nikal Jaata hai. Par jab khana finally jaata hai toh yeh: “worth the wait” wala review de kar so jaate hain.

Scorpio – “Mein toh pehle hi bola tha mat karo order…”

Scorpio ka khana late aaya toh woh zyada drama nahi karte, bas ek pointed comment drop karte hain: “Waise toh app pe likha tha 30 minutes…” Uske baad khana shanti se kha bhi lete hain, par har bite ke saath thoda sarcastic dialogue bolte hain jaise, “Mmm… tastes even better after waiting an hour.” Delivery waale ko smile bhi denge, par woh smile mein halka sa sting chhupa hoga.

Capricorn – “Time aur paisa dono waste”

Capricorn ka khana late aaya toh unka pehla reaction hota hai—“Time is money.” Pura lecture shuru kar dete hain ki late delivery ki wajah se unka kaam aur schedule kaise disturb hua. Phir khana aane ke baad usse accountant ki tarah check karte hain: “Fries garam hain? Bill sahi hai? Sauce packets complete hain?” Agar ek ketchup bhi missing hua toh bas samajh lo unke dimaag ka Excel error dikha dega. ahar bite ke saath calculation chal rahi hoti hai ki kitna paisa waste hua.

Aquarius – “Hunger is a social construct”

Aquarians delay ko bhi philosophy bana denge. “Yeh sab system ka part hai, bhookh ek social construct hai, humaara patience test kiya jaa raha hai.” Jab tak delivery hoti hai, woh doston ke saath poora debate shuru kar dete hain ki fast food industry ko kaise reform kiya jaa sakta hai par khana aate hi pehli bite le kar bolenge: “ab samajh aaya, delay ka taste alag hi hota hai.”

Pisces – “Order ke back up ke liye ek aur order”

Panic mode. Ek aur order dal diya backup ke liye. Phir dono ek saath aa gaye. Ab unke paas 2 dinners, 0 paisa, aur 100% guilt hai. Khana khaate waqt bhi self-pity monologue: “Mujhse adulting kabhi nahi hogi.”