♈ Aries – “Main toh energy leke aata hoon, shanti nahi.”
Aries guest matlab full volume. TV, conversation, laughter — sab 100 decibel pe. Unke aane ke baad ghar literally “alive” lagta hai, par thoda zyada hi alive kabhi-kabhi.
♉ Taurus – “Main sirf khaane ke liye aaya hoon.”
Taurus ko host ki feelings se zyada host ke snacks matter karte hain. Unke liye ‘guest appearance’ ka matlab hota hai plate refill karte rehna till dessert arrives.
♊ Gemini – “Main har kisi se baat kar lunga… even the cat.”
Gemini ek social butterfly hota hai — uncle se politics, aunty se TV serial, bachchon se video games — sab cover kar lega. Jab tak woh jaata hai, sabko lagta hai woh ghar ka hi member hai.
♋ Cancer – “Main toh help karne aaya tha, khaane pe bas baith gaya.”
Cancer guest har cheez mein involve hota hai — “Main bartan dho doon?”, “Table laga doon?” vibes. But ultimately, kitchen mein emotion aur khaane mein devotion leke aata hai.
♌ Leo – “Main guest nahi, event hoon.”
Leo aata hai toh entry slow motion mein hoti hai. Outfit on point, attention automatic. Unke liye visit ek mini red carpet moment hai — even if it’s just chai at 5 PM.
♍ Virgo – “Main toh bas safai check karne aaya hoon.”
Virgo quietly observes everything — curtain ki fold, plate ki placement, floor pe ek chhoti si crumb bhi nahi chhup sakti. Aur haan, agar koi bachcha juice gira de, unka dimaag saaf ho jaata hai.
(Also, ye wahi log hain jo noisy logon ko theatre mein shush karte hain.)
♎ Libra – “Main aesthetic harmony leke aata hoon.”
Libra ke liye visit ek vibe-setting exercise hoti hai — compliment karenge decor pe, suggest karenge new candle scents, aur har awkward silence ko charm se fill kar denge.
♏ Scorpio – “Main chhupke observe kar raha hoon sabko.”
Scorpio kam bolta hai, par sab dekh leta hai. Kisne kya bola, kisne kisey dekha, kisne kaunsa dessert zyada liya — mental notes ready. Mysterious presence, minimal words, maximum drama.
♐ Sagittarius – “Main toh kahani leke aaya hoon.”
Sagittarius ke bina koi mehfil complete nahi. Travel stories, philosophical baatein, aur ek random anecdote about “this one time in Manali…” — they’ll turn chai time into TED Talk.
♑ Capricorn – “Main gifts leke aaya hoon… aur thoda judgement bhi.”
Capricorn responsible guest hota hai — time pe aata hai, gift laata hai, aur internally sab organize karta hai. Lekin haan, thoda silently judge bhi karta hai ki “ye log plan kaise nahi banate pehle se?”
♒ Aquarius – “Main furniture rearrange kar dunga.”
Aquarius creative guest hai — naya conversation topic, quirky idea, ya random furniture shuffle karne ka suggestion leke aayega. Host kabhi confuse hota hai, par bored kabhi nahi.
♓ Pisces – “Main toh emotional connection banane aaya hoon.”
Pisces visit matlab dosti, nostalgia aur thoda filmy emotion. Ek baar chai pee li, toh life story shuru. Jab jaate hain, toh lagta hai ghar ka ek hissa saath le gaye.
About Author
Abbas Momin is a stand up comedian, writer, and podcaster. He has written columns for The Indian Express, Rolling Stone India and GQ India. Abbas has also hosted a film podcast called 'Has It Aged Well?' and does regular appearances on Cyrus Broacha's show 'Cyrus Says'. He has acted in the film 'Ghoomer' and the web series 'Very Parivarik'.
