HOLIDAY SEASON ka matlab sirf chhuttiyaan nahi hota — iska asli matlab hota hai bheed.

Mall ho, market ho, station ho ya cafe — har jagah lagta hai jaise poora sheher ek hi jagah decide kar ke aa gaya ho. Kuch log crowds mein bloom kar jaate hain, kuch log emotionally shutdown ho jaate hain, aur kuch bas yeh soch rahe hote hain ki “main ghar se kyun nikla?”. Chaliye dekhte hain, zodiac ke hisaab se aap bheed ke beech kaun sa character ban jaate ho.

♈ Aries – “Hato, Side Do” Mode Activated

Aries ke liye bheed ek personal challenge hoti hai. Unka walking pace fast ho jaata hai, patience zero, aur dimaag mein sirf ek hi thought hota hai: kaam khatam karke nikalna hai bas. Line lambi ho toh sigh, log slow ho toh eye-roll.
But somehow, yeh bheed ke beech se bhi sabse pehle bahar nikal jaate hain.

 

♉ Taurus – “Agar Rukna Hai Toh Comfort Se Ruko” Energy

Taurus crowds ko fight nahi karte, accept karte hain. Agar bheed hai, toh chai pee lo, snacks le lo, aur dheere-dheere move karo. Unko bas yeh ensure karna hota hai ki thakaan aur bhookh saath-saath na aa jaaye. Honestly, Taurus bheed mein bhi surprisingly zen hote hain.

 

♊ Gemini – “Timepass Goldmine” Approach

Gemini ke liye bheed matlab boredom ka end. Line mein khade-khade strangers se baat, funny observations, live commentary — sab chalu.
Unko log dekhna pasand hai, stories banana pasand hai, aur chaos mein entertainment dhoondhna aata hai. Crowds unko drain nahi karte, unko content dete hain.

 

♋ Cancer – “Thoda Space Mil Jaata Toh Achha Hota” Style

Cancer bheed mein thoda emotionally overwhelmed ho jaate hain.
Unko pushy log, loud noises aur lack of personal space bilkul pasand nahi.
Agar possible ho toh woh side mein khade ho jaate hain ya kisi familiar person ke paas chipak jaate hain. Unke liye crowd survival ka secret hai: emotional safety.

 

♌ Leo – “I Will Survive (Stylishly)” Energy

Leo bheed mein bhi composed rehte hain — at least upar se.
Internally thoda irritate ho sakte hain, par externally confidence intact.
Unka attitude hota hai: haan bheed hai, par main bhi yahin hoon.
Aur honestly, log unko notice bhi kar hi lete hain.

 

♍ Virgo – “System Dhoondhne Do” Mode

Virgo bheed mein chaos nahi, patterns dekhta hai. Kaunsi line fast hai, kaunsa gate better hai, kaunsa time optimal — sab notice hota hai. Unko sabse zyada irritation hoti hai un logon se jo bina logic ke idhar-udhar khade rehte hain.
Bheed bhi unke liye ek solvable puzzle ki tarah hoti hai.

 

♎ Libra – “Sab Adjust Ho Jaayega” Policy

Libra bheed mein bhi polite aur calm rehne ki koshish karte hain. Na push hona pasand nahi, na push karna. Thoda smile, thoda patience, aur thoda internal sigh. Unka goal hota hai: shanti bani rahe, chahe andar thoda chaos kyun na ho.

 

♏ Scorpio – “Silent, Focused, Don’t Touch Me” Mode

Scorpio bheed mein zyada react nahi karte. Kam baat, sharp nazar, aur seedha kaam. Unka body language hi bol deta hai ki unnecessary interaction avoid karo. Bheed ho ya na ho, unka focus kabhi hilta nahi.

♐ Sagittarius – “Ismein Bhi Maze Nikaal Lenge” Attitude

Sagittarius crowds ko irritation nahi, experience samajhta hai. Jokes, stories, random observations — sab nikalta hai. Unko bheed se zyada issue nahi hota jab tak unka mood free rahe. Agar late ho gaye toh bhi bol denge: yaar, journey ka part tha, aise hi toh experiences bante hain.

♑ Capricorn – “Bas Kaam Khatam Ho” Mindset

Capricorn crowds ko tolerate karta hai, enjoy nahi. Unke liye bheed ek unavoidable inconvenience hoti hai. Emotionally detached, mentally focused, physically present. Kaam ho jaaye, bas wahi kaafi hai.

 

♒ Aquarius – “Main Yahan Hoon, Par Actually Nahi” 

Aquarius bheed mein bhi apni duniya mein hota hai. Headphones, imagination, ya deep thoughts — kuch na kuch chal raha hota hai. Crowd sirf background noise ban jaata hai. Unko yaad bhi nahi rehta ki kaun paas khada tha.

♓ Pisces – “Flow Ke Saath Chalenge” Energy

Pisces bheed mein thoda lost feel karte hain. Kabhi overwhelmed, kabhi oddly calm. Woh logon ke saath flow mein chal leta hai, bina zyada fight kiye.
Thoda dreamy, thoda confused — but phir bhi survive kar jaate hain.

About Author

Abbas Momin is a stand up comedian, writer, and podcaster. He has written columns for The Indian Express, Rolling Stone India and GQ India. Abbas has also hosted a film podcast called 'Has It Aged Well?' and does regular appearances on Cyrus Broacha's show 'Cyrus Says'. He has acted in the film 'Ghoomer' and the web series 'Very Parivarik'.