(AKA: Woh Dictionary jo tumhari barbaadi ko cool naam deti hai.)
PYAAR ka zamaana badal gaya hai dost. Log bhi badal gaye hain. Bas confusion ka format upgrade ho gaya hai.
Pehle log dhokha khaate the, ab wo "situationship" mein rehte hain. Farak kuch nahi hai, bas sunne mein thoda classy lagta hai.
Aaj kal relationships kam, terminology zyada ho gayi hai. Humne socha chalo thodi clarity dete hain. Taaki agli baar jab koi tumhara dil tode, toh tumhe kam se kam uska technical naam toh pata ho.
Swagat hai Let’s Boing ke Glossary of Modern Love mein. Astrology-approved. Reality-adjacent. Emotionally unsafe.
1. Situationship
(noun) Definition: Jab tum dono clearly saath ho, par koi bhi mooh kholne ko tayyar nahi hai. Yeh Relationship ki duniya ka Unpaid Internship hai. Tum kaam poora kar rahe ho. Tum emotionally invest bhi ho. Par tumhe "Provident Fund" aur "Job Security" nahi milegi.
Roz baat hoti hai. Feels bhi hain. Par jaise hi tum poochte ho "Hum kya hain?", toh saamne wale ko achanak Asthma ka attack aa jaata hai.
Common Dialogue: "Let’s not label this. Labels ruin things." (Translation: Main tumhe use kar raha hoon, par guilt-free rehna chahta hoon.)
Zodiac Energy:
Libra: Faisla lene mein maut aati hai.
Pisces: Delusion mein jeena pasand hai.
Sagittarius: Commitment sunke inko khujli hoti hai.
2. Breadcrumbing
(noun) Definition: Kabootar ko daana daalne ki prakriya, taaki woh ud ke door na jaaye, par pet bhar ke kha bhi na sake.
Yeh banda/bandi tumhe Full Meal ka sapna dikhayega, par actual mein sirf emotional Chivda phenkega. Ek text aayega. Tum khush. Phir 4 din gayab. Tum pareshan. Phir ek Fire Emoji story pe. Tum phir khush.
Bhai, yeh pyaar nahi hai. Yeh tumhe Standby Mode pe rakhne ki saazish hai.
Common Dialogue: "Hey, long time! Missed you." (Translation: Mera main option busy tha, toh socha timepass kar loon.)
Zodiac Energy:
Gemini: Inka network coverage area badalta rehta hai.
Aquarius: Emotion ka ration card bana ke rakhte hain.
Leo: Attention ki bhookh mita rahe hain.
3. Ghosting
(noun / coping mechanism) Definition: Jab koi insaan conversation se aise gayab ho jaaye jaise woh kabhi paida hi nahi hua tha. Na goodbye. Na jhagda. Na full-stop. Bas "Seen" aur uske baad sannata.
Inhone tumhe block nahi kiya. Inhone tumhe apni reality se Uninstall kar diya. Tum sochte reh jaate ho "Maine kuch galat bola kya?" Nahi mere bhai. Woh darpok the. Unmein "Bye" bolne ki reedh ki haddi (spine) nahi thi.
Most Common Bahana (agar waapas aaye toh): "Sorry, I got busy with work." (Kya karte ho bhai? NASA mein rocket launch kar rahe the?)
Zodiac Energy:
Aquarius: Inko insaanon se break chahiye hota hai.
Capricorn: Confrontation se bachne ke liye desh chhod sakte hain.
Scorpio: Gayab hone ki kala mein PhD ki hai.
4. Soft Launch
(noun) Definition: Relationship ka Teaser Trailer release karna. Tum relationship mein ho, par tum duniya (aur Nazar) se darte ho.
Instagram story pe kya dikhega? Sirf ek coffee ka cup. Sirf ek ladke/ladki ki ghadi ya haath. Back of the head shot.
Audience confused hai. Exes ghabraye hue hain. Aur tum? Tum bas Vibe Test kar rahe ho ki agar breakup hua toh photos delete karne mein mehnat kam lagegi.
Zodiac Energy:
Libra: Aesthetics kharaab nahi honi chahiye.
Virgo: Sab kuch calculate karke post karenge.
Scorpio: Raaz rakhne mein maza aata hai.
5. Hard Launch
(noun) Definition: Jab tum decide karte ho ki ab duniya gayi bhaad mein, main toh dikhaunga. Photo clear hai. Caption mein dil hai. Tag kiya hua hai.
Yeh press conference hai. Iska maqsad pyaar dikhana kam, aur apne ex ko jalana zyada hota hai. Suddenly rishtedaar active ho jaate hain, dost "Finally" comment karte hain, aur kuch log jal ke raakh ho jaate hain.
Zodiac Energy:
Leo: "Dekho mujhe! Meri life best hai!"
Taurus: "Yeh mera hai. Door raho."
Aries: Bina soche samjhe post kar diya.
6. Emotionally Unavailable
(adjective) Definition: Ek toota hua Vending Machine. Paise (emotions) daalte raho, par product (pyaar) bahar nahi aayega.
Jab koi bolta hai: "I’m not in the right headspace right now." Translation: "Main tumhe pasand karta hoon, par itna nahi ki main apni life adjust karoon. Tum timepass ke liye theek ho, par investment ke liye nahi."
Yeh tumhe text karenge. Flirt karenge. Confuse karenge. Kyunki inko girlfriend/boyfriend ke perks chahiye, par single hone ki freedom bhi chahiye.
Zodiac Energy:
Capricorn: Kaam hi inka pehla pyaar hai.
Aquarius: Feelings ko virus samajhte hain.
Sagittarius: Bandh jaane se darr lagta hai.
7. Closure
(noun - mythological) Definition: Ek kaalpanik concept jo sirf Dharma Productions ki movies mein milta hai.
Real life mein Closure nahi milta, dost. Real life mein tum raat ke 3 baje, purani chats padh ke, khud hi ek Ending imagine karte ho aur so jaate ho. Intezaar mat karo ki woh aake maafi maangenge. Woh aage badh gaye hain. Tum bhi badho.
Zodiac Energy:
Cancer: 10 saal purani baat bhi yaad rakhenge.
Pisces: Apni hi duniya mein ending likh lenge.
Virgo: Post-mortem karenge ki galti kahan hui.
8. Red Flag
(noun) Definition: Kudrat ka tareeka tumhe chetaavani dene ka, jise tum "Interior Decoration" samajh ke ignore kar dete ho.
Jab tumhara dost cheekh ke bolta hai: "Bhai yeh aadmi toxic hai!" Aur tum reply dete ho: "Nahi yaar, uska childhood trauma hai, main fix kar dunga." Tum koi saint nahi ho. Woh sudhrega nahi. Woh red flag hai, saand ki tarah uski taraf bhaagna band karo.
Zodiac Energy:
Cancer: "Main usse badal dungi." (Nahi badlega).
Taurus: Ek baar commit kar diya toh kar diya.
Leo: Inko lagta hai inka pyaar duniya bacha lega.
9. Green Flag
(noun) Definition: Jab koi insaan itna normal aur suljha hua ho ki tumhe shaq hone lage. Woh reply karta hai? Woh sach bolta hai? Woh games nahi khelta?
Tumhara dimaag confuse ho jaata hai: "Yeh itna seedha kaise hai? Pakka serial killer hoga." Humein toxic ki aadat itni ho gayi hai ki peace humein digest nahi hoti.
Zodiac Energy:
Virgo: Inki consistency hi inka love language hai.
Taurus: Jo bolenge, wahi karenge.
Capricorn: Waade ke pakke.
10. Love Bombing
(noun) Definition: Diwali ka Rocket. Pehle 2 hafte mein itni tezi se upar jaayega— "Tu hi mera pyaar hai," "Shaadi karenge," "Baccho ke naam soch liye."
Tum hawa mein udoge. Aur phir—DHUSS. Sab khatam. Tum confuse: "Kal tak toh Soulmate tha?" Reality: "Kal tak uska shauk tha, aaj bore ho gaya." Yeh pyaar nahi, yeh marketing campaign tha jo ab khatam ho chuka hai.
Zodiac Energy:
Leo: Shuruwaat mein poora theatre khareed lenge.
Pisces: Sapne dikhane mein number one.
Gemini: Ek hafte mein interest khatam.
11. Benching
(noun) Definition: Tumhe team mein rakha hai, par ground pe khelne nahi denge. Tum 12th Man ho. Tumhe sirf tab yaad kiya jaayega jab Main Player injured ho ya available na ho.
Kabhi text aayega. Kabhi Reel share hogi. Kabhi "Hey Stranger" aayega. Sirf itna ki tum hope mat chhodo, par itna bhi nahi ki tum haq jata sako. Tum confused ho, woh comfortable hain.
Zodiac Energy:
Libra: Options khule rakhna pasand hai.
Sagittarius: Backup plan zaroori hai.
Aquarius: Emotionally door rehna chahte hain.
12. The “Let’s Stay Friends” Phase
(noun) Definition: Breakup ke baad ka Waiting Room. Tumhe company se nikaal diya gaya hai, par bola hai ki office ke cafeteria mein aake baith sakte ho.
Kyun? Kyun karna hai yeh? Boundaries clear nahi hoti. Healing postpone ho jaati hai. Aur tum roz unhe kisi aur ke saath khush dekh ke apni aatma ko jalate ho. Izzat bacha lo. Block karo. Aage badho.
Zodiac Energy:
Pisces: Rishta todna nahi aata.
Cancer: Yaadein peecha nahi chhodti.
Libra: Sabko khush rakhna chahte hain (jo possible nahi hai).
So… Iska Matlab Kya Nikla?
Iska matlab yeh nahi ki tum galat ho. Ya woh villain hai. (Okay, shayad thode villain hain).
Bas baat itni hai: Tumhara Software alag hai, unka Operating System alag hai. Aur Zodiac chupchaap peeche se aag mein ghee daal raha hai.
Jab do alag patterns takraate hain, toh sirf "vibes" nahi, kalesh paida hota hai.
Agla text bhejne se pehle (ya unke 'seen' pe chhodne ka analysis karne se pehle), thoda data check kar lo:
Humne ek test banaya hai. Astrology-coded. Boing-approved. Zero judgement.
👉 Check your Love Compatibility! (Bas context milega. Gyaan nahi.)
Final Boing Truth: Pyaar andha ho sakta hai dost. Par tumhara Zodiac sab dekh raha hai.
