JANUARY 1: “Is saal pakka serious.”
January 7: “Consistency is key.”
January 14: “Balance bhi important hota hai.”
New Year resolutions (fitness-related ya kuch aur) fail nahi hote. Woh slowly rebrand hote hain — excuses, philosophy aur self-love ke saath.
Har saal same story. Har saal same characters.
1. The All-Or-Nothing Sprinter
Day 1 se beast mode. Gym + diet + 10k steps + protein.
Day 10 pe existential crisis.
Yeh log moderation nahi jaante. Ya toh full transformation ya full disappear. Middle ground inke liye myth hai.
MOST LIKELY TO BE:
ARIES, SCORPIO
2. The “Listening to My Body” Philosopher
Workout skip kiya? “Body ne mana kar diya.”
Pizza khaya? “Craving thi.”
Yeh log wellness ko emotional justification bana dete hain. Har decision ka ek soft, self-aware explanation ready hota hai.
MOST LIKELY TO BE:
PISCES, CANCER
3. The Spreadsheet Soldier
Calories track.
Steps track.
Sleep track.
Stress bhi track ho raha hai — bas acknowledge nahi kar rahe.
Inka fitness journey ek project plan jaisa hota hai. Jab results slow hote hain, toh guilt fast ho jaata hai.
MOST LIKELY TO BE:
VIRGO, CAPRICORN
4. The Social Fitness Enthusiast
Workout secondary hai. Vibe primary.
Gym ke baad ka coffee, mirror selfie, cute outfit — yeh sab equally important hai. Agar photo achhi aa gayi, toh workout count ho gaya.
MOST LIKELY TO BE:
LEO, LIBRA
5. The Quiet Consistent One
Na announcement.
Na post.
Bas har alternate day dikh jaata hai.
Sabse annoying archetype — kyunki yeh actually stick karta hai. Bina drama, bina excuses.
MOST LIKELY TO BE:
TAURUS, CAPRICORN
6. The “Feb Se Pakka” Person
January trial tha.
February execution month hoga.
March… dekhte hain.
Yeh log hope pe jeete hain.
MOST LIKELY TO BE:
GEMINI, SAGITTARIUS
Universal Truth
Resolutions fail nahi hote. Bas expectations unrealistic hote hain.
